I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
