Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
