It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
