Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
