just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
