I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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