i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
