it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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