My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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