Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
