Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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