Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
