Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
