My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
