you would pick up someone in the library
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Randomize
