Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
