Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize