It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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