She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
