Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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