but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
time to smoke my breakfast
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
