I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
