i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
