1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
