If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
you mean i was at the winter classic?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
