Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize