Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
