He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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