That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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