Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
My boob is missing a layer of skin
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
