White coat. Heels.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
