im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
