So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
