she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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