Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
