i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
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at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
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I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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