He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
