remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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