my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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