i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
