Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
