I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
