Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
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