I hate all girls vehemently.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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