Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
