I'm going to jail i love you
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Found your dick twin last night
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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