you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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