eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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