There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
