i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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