I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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