its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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