You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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