Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
im on a boat
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