just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize