So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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